tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post6421373333917121488..comments2023-10-29T08:39:53.924-07:00Comments on Wanderer's Daughter: Sign of the timesMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17149615417507090988noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-74358867291425801252008-07-01T10:23:00.000-07:002008-07-01T10:23:00.000-07:00Oh-and I don't blog much about it-but the first fe...Oh-and I don't blog much about it-but the first few months were NOT easy. So don't think you're alone if it's hard. I'm-what-.25 miles away?<BR/>Also, I just agreed to moderate our little adoption group, so I am going to try to find some strategies to strengthen our ability to support each other. ~lmclisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13643921479273054853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-84718208020531148322008-07-01T10:19:00.000-07:002008-07-01T10:19:00.000-07:00Yep-Colorado made me read all of the same books-on...Yep-Colorado made me read all of the same books-one suggestion, that I told my sw she needs to include in future trainings-read at least one child development book, so you have some sort of reference point for "normal" (whatever that means). I read Brazelton and Sears years ago, but I use _What to Expect_ most of the time now just because of the easy format (chapters divided by age in months). I can't tell you how many times I was sure I was dealing with attachment trauma, only to learn that a new tooth came in or something happened at daycare that triggered extra stress.<BR/>We had a lot of conversations at book club last night-all moms with similar aged kids-realizing that something or other we were struggling with was the same as someone else's experience.<BR/>The adoption community is fabulous, but don't forget to bond with some bio mothers too-they're pretty nice ; )-and a great reality check. ~lmclisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13643921479273054853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-13283594647811781812008-07-01T06:33:00.000-07:002008-07-01T06:33:00.000-07:00Sounds like you are prepared as you can be.Sounds like you are prepared as you can be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-42968726745543215542008-06-30T07:25:00.000-07:002008-06-30T07:25:00.000-07:00I have two bits of advice: (1) Be Prepared For Any...I have two bits of advice: (1) Be Prepared For Anything (and it sounds like you will be); and (2) In those first few days and weeks, try to see things through your child's eyes.<BR/><BR/>Sydney screamed like a banshee and then latched onto me like velcro. I don't think I peeled her off me for a couple months (and that was just fine!). Claire screamed, cried, and kicked at me. She wouldn't hold onto me and preferred not to look at me at first. Now the most common thing I hear from her is "Mommy, pick me up." Both of them adjusted (and are still adjusting) in their own way and their own time. I use a lot of Attachment parenting with both of them and you will find all those books very helpful. You may also want to look at www.a4everfamily.org for some fun attachment games and activities.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00695889208110488035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-71108470391473548112008-06-30T05:45:00.000-07:002008-06-30T05:45:00.000-07:00I was one of those parents that read everything un...I was one of those parents that read everything under the sun and thought I was prepared. We were handed a sick but amazingly perfectly behaved child, and the warning bells went off while I counted my blessings. <BR/>The next year was the hardest of our lives. But we don't regret a thing and are very blessed to have this amazing child as our daughter, despite all the trauma related issues that came along with her. <BR/>No child comes with an instruction manual, and the books are great guides. But follow your gut instincts and you will be just fine. And if you see any warning signs, don't wait to get help.<BR/>I am not going to lie and say it was a piece of cake. It was heart breaking, hard work, sleep deprived, and I cried every night. But this innocent baby needed us, and we needed professional help to deal with her attachment, RAD, PTSD, and sensory issues. And we still deal with them every day. But we now have a happy, adjusting little girl who knows she is loved. And seeing Kerri smile is worth anything we went through.<BR/>May your adjustment period be brief, your attachment issues be small, and may your path be a learning experience full of joy and wonder as you become a parent for the first time!Vivian Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14901008350652019275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-91775624887425386842008-06-29T20:02:00.000-07:002008-06-29T20:02:00.000-07:00I'm glad you put this out there. And I hope that ...I'm glad you put this out there. And I hope that you'll continue to write with such clarity once your child is in your arms. Education is so important - and we cannot depend upon our agencies- even the best ones - to give us the tools we need to deal with the situations we might encounter. A-parents MUST take this into their own hands- self educate - read, read, read, talk, talk, talk and do the best they can to prepare themselves for being parents to their children.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for writing this and reminding people how important gaining these tools will be.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11174671099436752890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-44752229930383467612008-06-29T18:29:00.000-07:002008-06-29T18:29:00.000-07:00It is important to process this. I think you are g...It is important to process this. I think you are going to be just fine, darlin!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-36140242130802554352008-06-29T17:48:00.001-07:002008-06-29T17:48:00.001-07:00Sorry to do this to you Maia but you have been tag...Sorry to do this to you Maia but you have been tagged and awarded... awarded for the sweet person that you are... if I have to do the tagging thing... so do you... take careFliss and Mike Adventureshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07480895260275801501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-82880214099728564882008-06-29T17:48:00.000-07:002008-06-29T17:48:00.000-07:00How I echo your sentiments in my own heart- I have...How I echo your sentiments in my own heart- I have been lax in reading a ton (Adoption Parenting has been my fave book yet- biased toward China adoption) but feel what I've learned from the BTDT parents is absolutely invaluable.<BR/><BR/>How is the oral typhoid going? Have you had side effects? I had to get the vaccines as a kid and HOLY MOTHER OF GAH. Pain pain pain. For like A WEEK.kitchuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03907460384010952009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-13453752152892112922008-06-29T17:05:00.000-07:002008-06-29T17:05:00.000-07:00I know that I thought I was prepared . it will be ...I know that I thought I was prepared . it will be different with an infant verses older child. But it hit me like a ton of bricks when MJ didn't really like me at first. I knew it would most likely happen but it did and I was on a emotional roller coaster. But I pulled myself up after three days (from the boot straps) and said to myself -hey I am going to make this child like me if it is the last thing I do in China. Well as you know Mj loves me now. It did take time and I think with a younger one less time. it was meant to be the two of us being together. Thanks for sharing your heart!Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10611309167010819390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-54375706805412082852008-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:002008-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:00I too like to read about the not so happy moments ...I too like to read about the not so happy moments of adoption... let's me know that it isn't going to be all rosy... that when we get home...there is more to it... I am glad to hear that you are both are feeling so peaceful and cannot wait until you have Flynn finally... take careFliss and Mike Adventureshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07480895260275801501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852496254093254902.post-27478719930756845402008-06-29T13:34:00.000-07:002008-06-29T13:34:00.000-07:00I think you have prepared yourself, you hold no il...I think you have prepared yourself, you hold no illusions and have an open mind as to what you might encounter. So many parents don't and worse, they think they can punish or pray away any behavior they encounter. <BR/><BR/>Can't wait to follow your journey.Yolihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06068063513978782703noreply@blogger.com