The perfect parasite

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I don't write so much on this blog anymore (though I think you'll agree there are more than enough photos!). In part, it's because I don't have time. This is painfully true. I don't use daycare - I prefer to spend all my time with my girl. I still feel so dazzlingly, surreally fortunate to have her, to have this one (and probably only) opportunity to raise a child. And yes, I am currently working. I am fortunate enough also to have good jobs! My husband is also working, and "fulltime" is an understatement for what he does in this bizarre economy. He has triple his former workload, and an additional day in the mix. Not only that, but he has just started school again. So to say our plate is "full" really doesn't come close to describing it. We need about twice an many hours in a day in order to keep our heads above water.

But the other reason I haven't been writing is that I come off as sounding so over-the-top. You'd think I must be exaggerating wildly, or slightly tipsy, or both when I talk about QQ. You'd think: it can't possibly be that good!

So I thought of a metaphor to describe what it is that comes over me when I'm in the presence of our daughter. I'm sorry to say that the metaphor involves that gorilla of a watered-down vampire story that has been obsessing tweens and susceptible adults everywhere: Twilight.
Yes, I blush to admit, I did read Twilight - well, actually I listened to it on my iPod while out running. That's how I do the lightest of my light reading. And to tell you the truth, I only made it through the first two and a half books before permanently and fatally losing interest. But since so many people have, like me, been seduced by Twilight's frivolous confection at some point or other, I think I'm safe in assuming that many people will know what I'm talking about.

OK, you know how Twilight's vampires are designed to be "the perfect predator" for humans? The scent of their skin, the perfection of their features, the allure of their gaze, their voices, their charm, everything perfectly and meticulously designed to be utterly irresistible to any and every mortal. A sort of undead human flytrap.

Are you with me?

OK, so here's my theory: QQ was perfectly designed to be our perfect parasite - to so entrance and intoxicate us that we would do, literally, anything for her. We can't keep our hands or lips off her. Her faintest cry is a siren's song to us. No whim of hers goes unnoticed or unindulged. We can't tear our eyes away from her even for a moment. In her presence, we are giddy with joy - no matter that we are exhausted, overstretched and overworked. No matter that she has just turned over her plate of food on the kilim rug. No matter that she has thoroughly and uncompromisingly destroyed the house for the third time in 24 hours. No matter that she has just awakened us from a deep sleep at 4:30 in the morning. One sidelong glance, one crooked smile, and a rose-colored scrim is drawn instantly across our eyes. Little cartoon birds and butterflies twitter around our heads. We grin like idiots at her every antic. We would take a bullet for her.

I swear, this is what it feels like. The scent of her skin, the shape of her forehead, the slant of her mischievous glance, the sound of her breathing - each of these things seems carefully engineered to hold the most possible allure for us. Her funny half-smile, the exact timbre of her giggle, the taut curve of her baby cheek, her laugh like a rusty hinge, the whorled shape of her hairline...Each and every fiber of her is perfectly designed to entrance us.

So I hope you'll understand and cut me a little slack if I sound like a teenager in love when I talk about our daughter. There's really no help for me. I am, in fact, bewitched.