Pssst.....
Just a note to say that you can find QQ and her lettuce on Mindful Mama today, illustrating a story about kids, kitchen gardens, and the pleasure of vegetables, written by Melissa B. Williams. Go see! It's a great story (and a great magazine!).
Little Green Thumbs
5/28/09
5/27/09
little yogi
5/26/09
Full disclosure (as usual).
Today I feel the need to send a shout-out to single mothers everywhere. Can you say "superwomen?" (Sarah-the-fantastic comes to mind here, again, along with many of the brave women in my local adoption group).
Here's the thing: we have pretty much the most ideal family situation I can imagine. Sure, it would help if we had a few extra k in our bank accounts (haha!). But I have no desire to be fabulously wealthy, and the fact is, people raise families with a lot less than we have. What we do have? A lovely, comfortable, soothing, airy, modest home. A daughter who causes us very little trouble, and adds joy to our lives in such gargantuan proportions that we feel bowled over by the sheer force of her happiness. The rare and invaluable gift of a wonderful, trusting, peaceful, supportive, joy-filled and loving marital relationship.
So, as you can see, there are few ways in which we could have it much better.
That said: it isn't easy to maintain a balance in a family. We do our best, and we are both willing and diligent contributors to the effort (which is crucial). The trouble is, if you are just two people in this economy, with a child to watch, a house to clean, a garden to tend, two careers to maintain, insurance to hold up, and no daycare, no housekeeper, no nanny...it's not easy.
The majority of the time, we maintain the balance in a way that seems nearly effortless. As long as each of us is able to take our turn, and pull our weight equally with chores, errands and childcare, it works like a dream. No one gets overly tired, no one gets overly stressed, and everyone is happy.
However, there are always those times when things get out of balance. Someone gets sick. Someone has an extra workload to knock out. Someone looses an insurance policy, or accumulates an extra debt. And the world suddenly tilts off its axis.
That's where we're at this month. For one thing, M is one of the few people that have not been fired in his workplace. This is both a blessing and a curse. He still has a job, but he now does the work previously done by four men. Because he's tough, and stoic, and a diligent worker, he is able to do this without complaint. But he is also in his last six months of graduate school in hopes of obtaining his MBA. His chosen school has very high standards, and thus far his academic performance has been exceptional - even through the adoption, and QQ's surgeries, and the transition to parenthood. The real problems come when he is in final exams at the end of each semester. And that's where we are right now.
What this means is that he is under extraordinary pressure to perform both at work and at school. He gets home from work close to midnight, and goes straight into studying for exams and papers. He is not getting enough sleep. Not nearly enough. This makes it difficult for him to wake with QQ on the alternate mornings when he usually takes her. For my part, I can survive alright on a little less sleep, and am able to take some extra mornings without suffering a great deal. But what this also means for me is that I am deprived of those days on which I have mornings free to do my own work. Already scrambling to keep up with freelance jobs, with a waiting list that I have not even begun to tackle, this puts me even farther behind.
The other factor involved is more nebulous, and it has to do with how much "personal time" a person needs in order to stay sane, level-headed, and rational. Both of us love and treasure our time with the QQ above and beyond any other pleasure in life. But the fact is that everyone (or most of us mortals) needs a bit of time to themselves - alone time, time to let the mind wander, time to indulge in personal meditative rituals, time to listen to silence, to contemplate the world around us without being attentive to another human being. No matter how much I adore my time with the Q, if I have no time to myself, I start to change. My temper grows short and my nerves raw. I lose my sense of proportion and perspective. Lack of sleep starts to catch up with me in ways that it normally doesn't, and small tasks begin to feel overwhelming.
All I'm saying, really, is that it's a very delicate balance. We are extremely fortunate in that we are both willing and determined to shoulder the duties of life in equal proportion, to "have eachother's back", to be there for one another when support is most needed. But we are both also human. We are not supermen. And sometimes life takes the reins and runs amok.
Like I said, it's not easy. It's a constant balancing act. So I send out props to all those single mothers (you are my heroes) and to all those couples struggling to make a go of it in tough times, to all those families who have lost jobs, insurance policies, homes...and are still forging ahead, making it work, loving their families and knowing that that is enough. You are, actually, all my heroes. I wish you strength and peace.
Here's the thing: we have pretty much the most ideal family situation I can imagine. Sure, it would help if we had a few extra k in our bank accounts (haha!). But I have no desire to be fabulously wealthy, and the fact is, people raise families with a lot less than we have. What we do have? A lovely, comfortable, soothing, airy, modest home. A daughter who causes us very little trouble, and adds joy to our lives in such gargantuan proportions that we feel bowled over by the sheer force of her happiness. The rare and invaluable gift of a wonderful, trusting, peaceful, supportive, joy-filled and loving marital relationship.
So, as you can see, there are few ways in which we could have it much better.
That said: it isn't easy to maintain a balance in a family. We do our best, and we are both willing and diligent contributors to the effort (which is crucial). The trouble is, if you are just two people in this economy, with a child to watch, a house to clean, a garden to tend, two careers to maintain, insurance to hold up, and no daycare, no housekeeper, no nanny...it's not easy.
The majority of the time, we maintain the balance in a way that seems nearly effortless. As long as each of us is able to take our turn, and pull our weight equally with chores, errands and childcare, it works like a dream. No one gets overly tired, no one gets overly stressed, and everyone is happy.
However, there are always those times when things get out of balance. Someone gets sick. Someone has an extra workload to knock out. Someone looses an insurance policy, or accumulates an extra debt. And the world suddenly tilts off its axis.
That's where we're at this month. For one thing, M is one of the few people that have not been fired in his workplace. This is both a blessing and a curse. He still has a job, but he now does the work previously done by four men. Because he's tough, and stoic, and a diligent worker, he is able to do this without complaint. But he is also in his last six months of graduate school in hopes of obtaining his MBA. His chosen school has very high standards, and thus far his academic performance has been exceptional - even through the adoption, and QQ's surgeries, and the transition to parenthood. The real problems come when he is in final exams at the end of each semester. And that's where we are right now.
What this means is that he is under extraordinary pressure to perform both at work and at school. He gets home from work close to midnight, and goes straight into studying for exams and papers. He is not getting enough sleep. Not nearly enough. This makes it difficult for him to wake with QQ on the alternate mornings when he usually takes her. For my part, I can survive alright on a little less sleep, and am able to take some extra mornings without suffering a great deal. But what this also means for me is that I am deprived of those days on which I have mornings free to do my own work. Already scrambling to keep up with freelance jobs, with a waiting list that I have not even begun to tackle, this puts me even farther behind.
The other factor involved is more nebulous, and it has to do with how much "personal time" a person needs in order to stay sane, level-headed, and rational. Both of us love and treasure our time with the QQ above and beyond any other pleasure in life. But the fact is that everyone (or most of us mortals) needs a bit of time to themselves - alone time, time to let the mind wander, time to indulge in personal meditative rituals, time to listen to silence, to contemplate the world around us without being attentive to another human being. No matter how much I adore my time with the Q, if I have no time to myself, I start to change. My temper grows short and my nerves raw. I lose my sense of proportion and perspective. Lack of sleep starts to catch up with me in ways that it normally doesn't, and small tasks begin to feel overwhelming.
All I'm saying, really, is that it's a very delicate balance. We are extremely fortunate in that we are both willing and determined to shoulder the duties of life in equal proportion, to "have eachother's back", to be there for one another when support is most needed. But we are both also human. We are not supermen. And sometimes life takes the reins and runs amok.
Like I said, it's not easy. It's a constant balancing act. So I send out props to all those single mothers (you are my heroes) and to all those couples struggling to make a go of it in tough times, to all those families who have lost jobs, insurance policies, homes...and are still forging ahead, making it work, loving their families and knowing that that is enough. You are, actually, all my heroes. I wish you strength and peace.
5/25/09
The man who hung the moon...or everything but.
But she has seen plenty else that is wondrous.
On some afternoons, she wakes from the drowsy slumber of a summer nap to find him hammering together the wings of 132 platinum-winged butterflies, crafting a most delicate fan to cool her heat-dampened brow on the hottest of days.
On a chill evening, she sometimes hears a clackety-clack, and peeks round the corner to find him working the shuttle that spins the wool of 12 cashmere goats, each fed on a pure diet of creme fraiche and wild strawberries, in order to weave a fragrant blanket that will keep her warm and dry on even the most blustery of nights.
So, maybe he didn't hang the moon...not yet. But that could happen any day now.
A little fantasy
Someone on another blog of mine read my previous post about QQ's legendary charm, and was curious to know what happens when she gets angry. So I wrote this little story for her (thought I'd post it here as well):
Lorna has requested that I write about what happens when the Q gets angry...and, oh yes, I can comply.
When the Q gets angry, the dark clouds gather and roil in the brilliant blue of the Colorado sky. The rivers run from south to north, and threaten their banks.
When the Q is angry, her eyebrows gather close and threatening over the black pools of her eyes, and the rose-tint of her cheeks turns to deep magenta.
When the Q is angry, she calls up the mice from the basement, and orders them into service to pull her chariot.
The orderly and peaceable books fly from the shelves, their pages trembling in apprehension. The cans of food jostle restively against their cabinet doors, ready to jump. Porcelain saucers rattle against one another with the nervous chatter of chandeliers in a windstorm.
Flash floods gather and roil through the slot canyons in the desert, and the ravens rise cawing from their cedars.
When the Q is angry, she fills the drains with angel hair pasta, and pours extra-virgin olive oil into the heating vents.
Clouds of gadflys darken the sky, and the imperturbable daisies droop where they stand.
When the Q grows angry, leopards change their spots, and giraffes tie nervous top knots in their hair....
OK, all of this happens (well, most of it), but only in the space of 1.25 seconds, because once that time has elapsed, the Q has forgotten why she is angry. Her eyebrows un-knit, and the roseat glow returns to her cheeks like a sunrise in the desert.
The Q, in fact, is a creature of joy. She is, as far as we can tell, spun together from the laughter of a thousand butterflies. A dark day does not dawn in the Q's world. When she cries (which is very rarely) it passes like a summer squall, followed almost instantly by sunshine. The broad and mirthful smile returns to her lips even before the tiny glass drops of tears can dry from her inky lashes. In spite of what many might consider a rough beginning to her life, this is a child born to happiness, and she isn't stingy with it! She fills every room in the house with it, as well as the vases, the flowerpots, the tea cannisters, and the rainspouts when it isn't raining. We have happiness stored up against a rainy day here, happiness in spades and bushels and fathoms. So if you happen to ever be in need of some, just ask! We can surely spare a cup.
When the Q gets angry, the dark clouds gather and roil in the brilliant blue of the Colorado sky. The rivers run from south to north, and threaten their banks.
When the Q is angry, her eyebrows gather close and threatening over the black pools of her eyes, and the rose-tint of her cheeks turns to deep magenta.
When the Q is angry, she calls up the mice from the basement, and orders them into service to pull her chariot.
The orderly and peaceable books fly from the shelves, their pages trembling in apprehension. The cans of food jostle restively against their cabinet doors, ready to jump. Porcelain saucers rattle against one another with the nervous chatter of chandeliers in a windstorm.
Flash floods gather and roil through the slot canyons in the desert, and the ravens rise cawing from their cedars.
When the Q is angry, she fills the drains with angel hair pasta, and pours extra-virgin olive oil into the heating vents.
Clouds of gadflys darken the sky, and the imperturbable daisies droop where they stand.
When the Q grows angry, leopards change their spots, and giraffes tie nervous top knots in their hair....
OK, all of this happens (well, most of it), but only in the space of 1.25 seconds, because once that time has elapsed, the Q has forgotten why she is angry. Her eyebrows un-knit, and the roseat glow returns to her cheeks like a sunrise in the desert.
The Q, in fact, is a creature of joy. She is, as far as we can tell, spun together from the laughter of a thousand butterflies. A dark day does not dawn in the Q's world. When she cries (which is very rarely) it passes like a summer squall, followed almost instantly by sunshine. The broad and mirthful smile returns to her lips even before the tiny glass drops of tears can dry from her inky lashes. In spite of what many might consider a rough beginning to her life, this is a child born to happiness, and she isn't stingy with it! She fills every room in the house with it, as well as the vases, the flowerpots, the tea cannisters, and the rainspouts when it isn't raining. We have happiness stored up against a rainy day here, happiness in spades and bushels and fathoms. So if you happen to ever be in need of some, just ask! We can surely spare a cup.
holiday weekend
It was a social weekend for Q and I, and I hadn't even realized how much I needed it. Too much time in the studio has left me largely friendless, and it was nice to spend some time just chatting aimlessly with friends I hadn't seen in quite a while. On Sunday, we joined J and her kids, B & Z, for some indoor playtime, while the deluge and lightening storms raged on outside. We had tried for a run to a local park during a break in the storms, but ended up racing for cover through fast-flooding streets and a rather impressive electrical display. We made it inside the garage just a few feet ahead of a very close lightening strike.
B & Z had lots to show QQ, including this go-fish game, which fascinated her. B (who, I am lead to understand, is sometimes a little prickly with his own baby sister) was incredible with QQ. He showed her around the house, brought out toys he thought would be her speed, offered her food and drink when he thought she might be hungry, and even explained most of the plot of Star Wars to her in great detail ;)
It was really sweet to watch them interact.
While Mommy (who doesn't get as much time out-of-doors these days as she would like) would have appreciated some time at the park, Q thoroughly enjoyed playing indoors with the kids.
Especially when she discovered that they have a very similar "big-green-ball" to the one she is fond of at home.
She and Z, who are a few months apart, were able to play quite well together.
This is Z and Q with a play-food set...
...with which they ended up "feeding" one another. Quite the act of trust for two kids who barely know one another, don't you think?.... Even if this does seem to be a bottle of mustard that they're sucking on (I can see QQ trying it with the real thing next time she sees one).
Reading together.
On Monday, a friend of mine from my Vail years brought her daughter down from the mountains just to spend the day with us! It's been a loooong time, and L and I had a great deal to catch up on. Still raining, though not as heavily as the day before....we had the chance to walk down our local "main street" for some Thai food, and then do a little ambling around the neighborhood, which is very pretty after all this unusual moisture.
Q running to catch up with us...
...and running!
After lunch, we hoped to stop by the local vintage amusement park. We put Q in the stroller since she had missed naptime and was getting wiggly. L's daughter T very much enjoyed pushing QQ around in the stroller, with QQ looking back and waving at her happily from time to time.
A beautiful blue door with a lovely tree...anyone know what kind of tree this is? I want one!

This is where we had hoped to spend the rest of the afternoon...but bad weather early in the day had closed them down shortly after opening.
So we spent the afternoon at home instead. Once Q went down for her belated nap, hilarity ensued with our sunglass collection.

We've got some wacky ones, no doubt about it!
After that, T sat down with a copy of the book I illustrated, and read it aloud to us...
...which was lovely!

More dress-up antics...
...and still more. You may recognize this collander - it's popularity as headgear around our house has surprised us all.
Looking like a little Road Warrior.
The kid is a ham! And she has a talent for costuming.
One all combinations were exhausted, she decided to try them on Q's dinosaur.
Tee-hee!
We had a blast, and I feel rejuvenated, re-socialized, and ready to face another week of solitary work (well, solitary if you don't count the Q, who is usually company enough for anyone!)
It was really sweet to watch them interact.
We had a blast, and I feel rejuvenated, re-socialized, and ready to face another week of solitary work (well, solitary if you don't count the Q, who is usually company enough for anyone!)
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