8/12/08

A note to good friends

I wanted to write a little post to say that so many good friends have written "welcome home" emails to us, and some have sent lovely packages to arrive when we returned. I can't tell you how much it means to us, and how loved and cared for I feel. I have to apologize that I have not found the time to respond to each of the emails in person. I am still learning to juggle life with baby (the problem of every first-time parent) and I am only succeeding in bits and snatches. I try to keep my email on a lot of the time and check when I can - between bottles or when daddy has the baby. But I have not found a way to actually email with a babe in arms. I try to write my posts in the brief window between putting her down for the night and going to bed myself. But I am jealously guarding my own rest as well still, and it isn't a big window of time.
I also have to thank everyone who has generously said that I'm glowing as well, but I can tell you that I don't feel that way. The moments of great joy are numerous, but I still feel very shaky and incompetent. My confidence as a parent is still very weak, and much of the time I feel way out of my depth. I also was very sick in the last days in China, and the have still not recovered entirely. I'm hoping that I don't have giardia or some parasite (Mike's mom came back from a trip recently with a parasite that took her many weeks to shake, so I know that it's no picnic). The exhaustion of the first few sleepless nights, and the difficulty in finding time to eat ourselves is an added challenge. My tests and QiuQiu's should be back later this week, so we're keeping our fingers crossed. I can see that she's thriving, and she really does glow, and that's the important part.
I know we'll all find our stride and figure out how to make it all work. Daddy was nice enough to entertain Flynn for the first half of today while I cleaned the house, which felt like a huge triumph. Bit by bit, we'll figure it out!
Thank you one and all for all your support, good wishes and love. It means more than you know. One of these days I'll have time to email and keep up with all your wonderful blogs again. It's just going to take some time!

3 comments:

tiffany said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon! It may take even more time than you would ever guess to adjust to being a mommy though! I cherish those first weeks and months home with baby but it usually takes me 6 months to feel back to some sort of normal and even then its a different kind of normal of course. But dont rush it. Enjoy this time cocooned up with your family in a messier than usual house. You now have the best excuse ever to neglect other stuff for a while. :)

Carrie said...

I know it takes time to get back to normal with a new baby or a new child for that matter but it will come-My house is still a mess and It took me three months to get the China stuff put away! It will happen. I hope your test comes back no problems!

Sarah said...

Maia, you're doing an amazing job! Don't be so hard on yourself. Try to be a "good enough" mother; a balance of putting her first, seeing the world as she sees it, and a little taking care of yourself so you can have something to give her the next day. It takes a long time to build up the feeling of being a mother! You're doing everything anyone can ask! Every baby should have such a loving and perceptive mother. xoxoxxo